


8 letters

by haheehye



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: F/F, HaHee lives, catfish lives, going ANGST, underrated ships, you see the tags :]
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-21
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-08-05 06:23:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16362554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haheehye/pseuds/haheehye
Summary: If all it is is eight letters, Why is it so hard to say?





	1. Friday Nights

_Have you ever wished that you could turn back time, even just a little bit- just so you could change one thing you did? Like wanting to start your day over because you forgot to eat breakfast, or because you picked out an outfit that didn’t match. What about accidentally embarrassing yourself in front of your crush? Big or small, you’ve had moments wherein you just couldn’t help but feel that bit of regret-_

Out of frustration, the brunette ended up letting out a loud groan as she ruffled her own hair in frustration. Haseul had given a task to write a short article for the school paper, she was given a month to do so, but for some reason, Haseul thought that it would take her more than a month to actually write it.

 

Normally, she would have no problems writing articles for the school paper. She’s been doing so ever since her freshman year. She’d be given topics to write about, she’d finish them in a week’s time. She could actually take her time writing them, but she would rather just get them done as soon as possible- at least that way she could get inspiration for her next article.

 

Unfortunately, the topic she was given this time was about regret. Did Haseul ever actually regret anything in her life? She herself, wasn’t that sure. In fact, that was why she was having such a hard time finishing this assignment. Sure, a teenager should have moments of regret- but she lived her life doing what she was good at, knowing not to do things she **_knew_** would actually lead her to regret.

 

Of course, she has had those tiny moments like not studying the right topic for a test. But would that really help her get her creative juices flowing for an article? So now, Haseul simply slumped against her chair as she looked at the screen of her laptop.

 

How exactly was she supposed to write about regret wherein she herself, hasn’t necessarily dealt with such a huge decision that actually made her **really** feel regret?

 

Lightly blowing the bangs that barely reached her eye, Haseul stretched her arms over her head before reaching for her keyboard again. Just as she was about to give the article another shot, Haseul heard soft tapping sounds from her window. Looking away from her laptop, a smile found its way to on her face (completely forgetting about how stressed out she was a while ago) as she saw someone waving from the other side of the window.

 

With light footsteps, Haseul made her way towards the window, opening it with a playful smile as she greeted the girl who was now on her rooftop.

 

“Jeon Heejin. You know, if the neighbors mistake you for being a thief and end up calling the cops on you, I’m not going to stop them.”

 

“I’m pretty sure they won’t do either of that, considering the fact that if they did, they’d wrongly get their daughter arrested.” Heejin simply shrugged before offering Haseul her hand. “Now are you joining me out here or did I exert actual effort into climbing up to your window for nothing?”

 

* * *

 

 

Jeon Heejin was Haseul’s next door neighbor, schoolmate, and best friend. They would go to school together, hang out with their common friends, and walk back home after school. One day, Haseul was surprised to see Heejin waving at her from the other side of her bedroom window, which was on the second floor. Haseul freaked out, scolding the girl for the obvious danger of falling off. But instead of apologizing, Heejin merely smiled at her and asked Haseul to join her on the roof.

 

At first Haseul thought the younger girl was crazy, obviously worried about falling, but eventually, Heejin managed to convince her to try it out. Albeit reluctant, Haseul carefully climbed out her window and sat beside the younger girl. A bit tense as she was on her roof, Haseul flinched as she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned to look see Heejin having a gentle smile on her face.

 

Heejin told her to take a deep breath and just look up, after all. Doing so, Haseul was surprised to see the stars that were right above them. She grew up all her life, but she never actually noticed just how they shined so bright at night.

 

After that night, it became a weekly thing for both girls. Every Friday night, Heejin would end up climbing all the way up to Haseul’s window. She would invite the Haseul to lie down on the roof and gaze at the stars above them. Sometimes if they notice the time, they would bid each other good night and Haseul would stay a bit more, watching Heejin climb down and head back to her own house; just to make sure she would get home safely (despite really just living next door). But there were times when they lose track of time, leading to Heejin sleeping over afterward.

 

Which is why both girls lay quietly on the roof of the Jo household, contently gazing at the stars above them in comfortable silence. Letting themselves relax as they enjoy the glow of the infinite dots in the sky, enjoying the peace around them.

 

But compared to all the other nights that they’ve done this, tonight was a bit different for Haseul. She was distracted- not by the article she was stuck on, she still had a month until the deadline anyway (she just wanted to get it done as soon as possible). For tonight, she tried to focus on the stars above her, she tried to focus on the moon and its bright glow.

 

But she couldn’t. She couldn’t focus on any of those because all she could actually focus on was the fact that Heejin was suddenly playing with her fingers as the younger girl looked above them.

 

Without really thinking, Haseul moved her own hand to hold the younger girl’s hand. Haseul kept her gaze above them, and from the corner of her eyes, she saw how Heejin immediately turned to look at her with a look of surprise. She kept her attention to the sky above them, ignoring the look on her face before speaking up.

 

“If you wanted to hold my hand, all you had to do was do so.”

 

They were both silent for a while before Haseul eventually turned to look at Heejin. They looked at each other for a moment before they both ended up chuckling, Heejin quickly lightly hitting the older girl.

 

“I can’t believe you went all greasy on me.”

 

Once their laughter subsided, the simply went back to that comfortable silence, but now- Haseul’s mind was even more distracted. Heejin and her have been close, they have held hands and hugged, so skinship wasn’t an issue between them. But for some reason, this time it felt different.

 

 

It felt warmer.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The week passed by pretty quickly and now Haseul found herself being physically dragged out of her room. Just a few moments ago, Heejin showed up and kept telling her to join her outside. Haseul offered to let the girl stay inside first, she wanted to try and work on her article a tiny bit more before she would spend the rest of the night with the younger girl.

 

But it ended up taking her longer than she expected, because just like the week before, Haseul could not get any kind of content for the article out of her head.

 

Which is what led Heejin to proceed to drag her out the window (of course carefully). She ignored the protests from the older girl, telling her that taking a breather would help her. Eventually, Haseul did give in and sat beside her neighbor.

 

After a few minutes of silence, Heejin asked just how the article was going. In response, Haseul simply let out an exasperated sigh and fell on her back. Looking up at the stars as she let her frustrations about the article out.

 

Once she let all the steam out, Haseul noticed just how quiet the other was. Curious, she sat up and saw the Heejin was actually hugging her knees as she looked not at the sky, but instead just ahead of her, obviously spacing out.

 

“You know, if you didn’t want to hear my rant about the article, you didn’t need to ask.” Haseul couldn’t help but let a small smile come out as she saw the other girl flinch and look at her, immediately shaking her head.

 

“S-sorry. I was listening! I just spaced out a bit in the middle of it…”

 

“Hey don’t worry, it’s fine. It’s just the article- though…” Haseul moved a bit closer to Heejin, lightly bumping their shoulders together. “What’s bothering you so much you ended up spacing out? And don’t you dare tell me it’s nothing. I know when you lie.”

 

She heard Heejin let out a deep sigh as she looked back ahead of them, moving to lean on her arms as she hugged her knees once more.

 

“You know Hyunjin right?”

 

“Kim Hyunjin? She’s from the Basketball team right?” Haseul remembered her, she was a pretty quiet student in school, but she was known for being friendly and very athletic. “What about her?”

 

“She asked me out…”

 

_Oh._

 

They both sat there in silence, Haseul not quite sure why she didn’t necessarily know what to say. She should be happy for her friend, she heard that Hyunjin was a great person. So shouldn’t Haseul be glad that at least she knew her best friend would go on a date with someone like that?

 

Humming softly and decided that she should break the silence, she looked at Heejin curiously before speaking up. “So are you going on that date then?”

 

“I don’t know… I mean she’s nice. But I don’t think it’ll work out?”

 

“What makes you think so?”

 

“I- I don’t know… Why would she suddenly want to ask me out on a date? I mean- why would anyone?”

 

“Is anyone there?” With a raised brow, Haseul moved to lightly tap the top of Heejin’s head. The younger automatically laughing and lightly pushing the older girl. “Are you hearing yourself? Of course, people would want to date you. You’re Jeon Heejin.”

 

“And what’s that supposed to mean?”

 

“I mean you’re great. You’re a fun person to hang out with, you are a great conversation holder, you’re really approachable and easy to get along with. You are unbelievably well balanced- I mean you’re one of the best dancers in the school, and you’re one of the top students in your class. That’s just wow.” Haseul was about to continue on, but the sight of a smile creeping up on Heejin’s face distracted her for a bit- and suddenly the words she was about to say changed as she spoke up without thinking.

 

“You have a cute smile too. It’s hard not to want to ask you out on a date to be honest.”

 

“Do you mean that?”

 

She could see Heejin look at her again, her eyes looked at her just like how she looked at her last week when they ended up holding hands. They were both silent as they simply looked at each other before Haseul could even answer, Heejin asked her another question, one she didn’t expect at all.

 

“Would you date me?”

 

Surprised at what she heard, they both looked at each other again. And for the second week in a row, Haseul ended up acting without really thinking again, softly answering- almost whispering her answer back.

 

“In a heartbeat.”

 

Both of them remained stationary, everything else around them quiet as they both weren’t speaking up either. Eventually, the silence broke when Heejin moved to slightly shove Haseul before looking back up into the sky. “You really can’t stop yourself from being greasy huh.”

 

Haseul let out a chuckle as well before looking up at the stars above them. Just like last week, they both look up at the dots above then, they bask in the light the moon was shining on them. And just like last week, Haseul was confused.

 

Where did those words come from?

 

* * *

 

 

A few moments ago, Haseul was in front of her laptop, giving the article yet another try. But now, Haseul found herself sitting outside, on her roof as she gave up on the article again for the night. She debated on just talking to the current editor, telling her maybe there’s still time to give someone else the article or scrap the whole thing altogether.

 

Haseul let out a deep sigh before she looked around her surroundings. Unlike her regular Friday nights, she was sitting alone on her roof tonight. After her date with Hyunjin last week, apparently things went well. And they ended up having another date tonight, leaving Haseul stargazing alone tonight.

 

Hugging her knees, it never really registered to Haseul just how different being on her roof alone would be. Technically it shouldn’t be that different. It was still quiet, she was still looking up at millions of stars, she was still under the light that the moon was providing.

 

But at the same time…

 

Everything didn’t seem as bright as how it normally was.

 

Without realizing it, instead of looking at the sky, Haseul found herself looking at the window next door. The window that was completely dark at the other side. The window to Heejin’s room.

 

She knew that the other girl was still out on her date. And unconsciously, Haseul’s mind started to wonder. Did that Hyunjin girl bring Heejin to a good restaurant for their date? Or did they go shopping? Heejin was always a fan of either anyway. Then again, Heejin would probably be happy if the date was just staying somewhere quiet and doing Sudoku together.

 

Haseul found herself smiling at the thought, she could picture Heejin focused on her Sudoku book, completely focused before finally realizing that it was supposed to be a date. She’d apologize with a hint of blush on her face along with a shy smile as she was embarrassed for being too engrossed in her book. In return, Haseul would simply smile back, lightly patting her head and tell the younger girl to continue, liking how she looks so focused on the book. And they’d be there for hours before realizing they should-

 

 

_Oh no._

 

 

Haseul’s eyes opened wide as she realized what she just thought of. She realized that she just imagined herself on a date with Heejin- her neighbor, her best friend. She realized why she’s been confused for the past few weeks. She realized her feelings grew for the younger girl without her even knowing.

 

And she realized that Heejin was on a date with someone else.

 

Looking at Heejin’s window once more, Haseul quickly moved to head back into her room, heading straight to her laptop as she opened it up again, quickly typing what she felt at that instant.

 

_Have you ever wished that you could turn back time, even just a little bit- just so you could change one thing you did? Like wanting to start your day over because you forgot to eat breakfast, or because you picked out an outfit that didn’t match. What about accidentally embarrassing yourself in front of your crush? Big or small, you’ve had moments wherein you just couldn’t help but feel that slight bit of regret wherein you should have done something. And when you finally have time to actually think about what happened, you realized you missed out on something that would have probably been the best thing that could happen to you._

_As cliché as the following might sound, imagine meeting someone, someone that you manage to form a bond with the very first instant you two meet. Someone who manages to break down your walls and despite that vulnerability, you still feel safe with them. Someone who manages to make you literally risk your safety because the look in their eyes made you forget the fear that you previously felt._

_Someone who just seemed absolutely perfect._

_Someone who seemed perfect but decides to show you their flaws and insecurities. Someone who shows you how they needed support just as much as how you did. Someone who hides their fears from everyone else but after they look at you, they tell you everything, trusting you with all those secrets they kept inside._

_Someone who when you hold hands with, every line in your hands align._

_Someone who comes to mind once you close your eyes._

_Someone who you fell in love with._

_Someone who ended up being with another._

_Someone who you lost your chance with._

_Imagine the feeling of realizing too late about what could have been. About how you’ve shared sweet words to them, only for it to be passed off as a joke between you both because you never really thought it would actually have meaning. Imagine realizing too late how you should have said those 3 words._

_As cliché as it may be, it happens. To you, to me, to anyone really. But with that regret- would you really want to turn back time and change things?_

_Would you want to turn back time to that moment wherein you could have spoken up and actually have said those 3 words?_

_Would you risk everything you both built, by saying how you felt wherein you aren’t actually sure how things would end up if you actually told them how you felt?_

_Or would you let everything just be how it is and see how they’re actually happy with someone else? You can still be there for support; you can still have that bond you used to have with that someone. You can still be there, seeing them happy because, for you, their happiness matters more than your own._

* * *

 

 

 

Haseul stretches her arms as she walks out of the campus, glad to have finally submitted her article. She was about to head home and just enjoy binge-watching on some shows she ended up not watching because of that damned article when she heard someone call out her name.

 

She was surprised to see that the person who called her was, in fact, the editor she was working with. A bit unsure as to why the blonde caught up to her after just seeing each other at the office a while ago, Haseul looked at her with confusion. “Something up Jinsoul?”

 

“Ah- I just read your article. I wanted to say it’s good, and it’ll be out in the next issue. I was surprised- I didn’t expect you to write about a personal experience.”

 

“Oh, thanks. I’m glad that the article was to your liking an- wait what?” Haseul looked at the blonde in front of her. Surprised at the words she heard. “What makes you think it’s my personal experience?”

 

“Because I know exactly how it feels. And I wouldn’t be able to use those wordings unless I legitimately experienced it.” Jinsoul merely shrugged before flashing her a small smile. “You and Sooyoung are friends, right? I’m pretty sure she jokes around a lot how clueless I am about most things, but I didn’t get this position without hard work you know. I’m pretty smart, I just choose to let Sooyoung think she’s better than me. You know how she gets.”

 

They both laugh a bit before Haseul moves to rub her nape, smiling at Jinsoul again. “Well, thanks again for the compliment about my article. And not to sound rude though, but was there something else you need?”

 

“Oh! I was actually wondering if you wanted to grab some coffee? I mean… It can sound cliché, but I know a thing or two about regretting too. And it kinda helped me get over that feeling when I shared about it to someone else. I just thought maybe… you needed a listening ear?”

 

Haseul couldn’t help but smile as she saw how shy Jinsoul suddenly got in front of her. It probably would be better to talk about it; it would also keep her from thinking about Heejin anyway.

 

“That’s really sweet of you Jinsoul. I’d love to grab some coffee with you.” She couldn’t help but laugh a bit as she saw how a grin immediately found its way to Jinsoul’s face. “But you’re paying for everything.”

 

Haseul turned to walk towards the direction of the café nearby, ignoring the whines she could hear from behind her, chuckling as she heard Jinsoul catch up to her anyway.

 

Sure she planned on staying inside and watching her shows, but Haseul thinks this would be better for her as well. She was sure she wouldn’t even be able to focus on watching and head outside again. She’d end up on her roof, thinking about how the stars were shining, about the glow of the moon. Thinking about anything to distract her mind, to distract her from realizing that she was sitting on her roof alone since Heejin was on another date.

 

It was a Friday after all.

 


	2. Your eyes, they shine like stars.

With a bag slung over her shoulder, Heejin groaned as she felt how sore her muscles were. Practice today was a lot more draining for her and she knew waking up tomorrow was going to be an issue. As her own house came into view, Heejin’s eyes quickly darted to the house beside her own; a smile forming on her face as she saw the lights on her neighbors’ house.

 

With a sudden burst of energy, Heejin found herself jogging past her house and quickly underneath the window of her neighbor. She looked up at the trellis wall with a frown, realizing how her limbs were already aching. With a deep breath, Heejin started climbing up, thinking about who she was going to meet once she got up there.

 

Finally reaching the rooftop Heejin took a minute to catch her breath. Despite frequently doing this, considering how she was just not fit for climbing, she would never get used to having to climb up to the second floor of her neighbors’ household.

 

Finally catching her breath, Heejin smiled as she made her way to the window; stopping herself as she saw the girl on her laptop. With a smile, Heejin watched her quietly, unconsciously smiling to herself as she looked at the older girl.

 

Jo Haseul was her next door neighbor, her schoolmate, and her best friend. Heejin was shy at first, not sure how to approach the girl at school- but when she found out that they were actually next door neighbors, she sucked it up and approached the older girl. They got along well, and eventually ended up regularly hanging out. To the point, that most of the time- if their schedules matched, the would end up walking back home together.

 

The closer they got, eventually Heejin found herself always end up climbing up to Haseul’s window and ask the older girl to join her and stargaze. At first, Heejin found it hilarious, seeing the panic on her friends’ face as she stood on the tiled roof. It took her a while to convince the older girl to join her, but seeing how Haseul was mesmerized by the stars, Heejin was more than glad to have asked the girl to join her.

 

After that incident, Heejin ended up climbing up the Jo household every week. Despite her not being the best climber, seeing her friends’ smile as she looked above managed to make everything worth it for her.

 

With a soft hum, Heejin moved forward, lightly tapping on the glass as she saw her friend on the other side. Her grin grew wider as she watched the girl walk towards her, eventually opening the window and greeting her with a sweet smile.

 

“Jeon Heejin. You know, if the neighbors mistake you for being a thief and end up calling the cops on you, I’m not going to stop them.” Heejin’s grin grew even wider as she saw how the older girl leans on the window frame with a teasing smile.

 

“I’m pretty sure they won’t do either of that, considering the fact that if they did, they’d wrongly get their daughter arrested.” Heejin grinned at the older girl before lightly tapping her nose with a playful smile. “Now are you joining me out here or did I exert actual effort into climbing up to your window for nothing?”

 

* * *

  

The two girls lay peacefully on the roof, Heejin humming as she looked at the thousands of stars above them; and enjoying the glow that the moon shone upon them as well. She tried to focus on the stars above them, but for some reason, Heejin couldn’t help but continue to steal glances at the girl beside her.

 

Haseul was talking about the article she had to work on for their schools’ paper for next month. She kept on going on about how she’s not sure just how she’ll get it done- as it’s something she’s pretty unfamiliar with. Heejin simply lay there in silence, letting the older girl vent out as much as she needed as they were both just there.

 

After she was able to let most of the steam out, they both found themselves in silence once more. And without really thinking- Heejin found herself playing with the older girls’ hands. Her own fingers gently tracing Haseul’s as she looked up at the sky above them. Heejin only realized what she was doing when she felt a warm hand on top of hers; quickly turning to look at the older girl with a look of confusion.

 

Holding hands with Haseul wasn’t something Heejin minded; in fact, she enjoyed doing so- they did it every time they would walk home together. She liked how warm Haseul’s hands were, she liked how the action made her feel safe. And the two girls were never really against being touchy with one another anyway.

 

But for some reason, right now felt a bit different.

 

“If you wanted to hold my hand, all you had to do was do so.”

 

Haseul slowly turned to face her, and Heejin couldn’t necessarily think straight. She looked at the older girl in the eyes, still holding onto her hand as they both remained silent. Heejin had known the older girl for so long, but she never looked at her in the eyes this close. She found herself lost in Haseul’s eyes, completely drawn into them. The moment seemed to go on for a bit until eventually, Heejin looked away.

 

She just couldn’t handle it- her heart was beating too fast.

 

“I can’t believe you went all greasy on me.”

 

They both laughed it off, Heejin trying her best to push the thought away as they both remained on the roof. They returned to their comfortable silence, laying under the night sky as they just kept each other company. But despite Heejin’s attempt at trying to focus on the millions of stars in the sky, she still found herself stealing glances at the figure beside her _again._

 

The sound of Haseul’s phone in her room startled them both, but they also realized that the alarm only happened because of the time. Carefully standing up, the two bid each other good night while Haseul remained on her roof. She sat there as she watched Heejin climb down and head towards her house. Haseul patiently waited until Heejin reached her own room, waving from her window and offering each other a smile and sweet dreams before turning to their respective beds.

 

But for Heejin, she was far from her dreamland as she lay on her bed. The incident earlier plagued her mind, it was all she could think about. Turning to look at the same hand that was held a while ago, Heejin’s brows furrowed not at the thought about her holding hands with Haseul a while ago…

 

 

But at the thought that she wanted to hold her hand like that again.

 

 

* * *

 

 

As another stressful week passed, Heejin found herself sitting on Haseul’s bed. At first, she was simply leaning onto the window frame, a smile on her face as she patiently waited for the older girl; finding it cute as she was really trying to work on what she was focusing on.

 

But after a while, Haseul told her to just come in and wait inside. With a shrug, Heejin climbed in and made herself comfortable. Eyes scanning the familiar room, she smiled as a picture of them both was on Haseul’s desk. But at some point, Heejin got really bored. She knew Haseul's room pretty well already and had nothing else to actually pay attention to- other than the older girl that was currently pretty much frustrated at the laptop in front of her. Eventually, Heejin just decided to stand up and started to physically drag the owner of the room outside.

 

After struggling a bit, they both _safely_ managed to find their spot on the roof once more. They remained silent, Heejin knew that the older girl was still frustrated about the article, so she decided to ask about it this time as well- thinking that she needed to vent things out.

 

Heejin heard her sigh and loudly fall on her back before beginning to let her frustrations out. She did try her best to focus on what Haseul was talking about- but once again, Heejin found herself being distracted as she was sitting there. Just looking ahead as she could hear Haseul’s voice at the back.

 

 “You know, if you didn’t want to hear my rant about the article, you didn’t need to ask.” Heejin flinched and looked at Haseul with wide eyes before immediately shaking her head.

 

“S-sorry. I was listening! I just spaced out a bit in the middle of it…”

 

“Hey don’t worry, it’s fine. It’s just the article- though…” She heard the older girl shift her position, moving a bit closer to Heejin, and lightly bumping their shoulders together. “What’s bothering you so much you ended up spacing out? And don’t you dare tell me it’s nothing. I know when you lie.”

 

A deep sigh escaped from her as she looked back in front, staring into the night as she moved to hug her knees. “You know Hyunjin right?”

 

“Kim Hyunjin? She’s from the Basketball team right?” She simply responded with a slight nod, not really looking at Haseul. “What about her?”

 

“She asked me out…”

 

There was a moment of silence- one Heejin didn’t really expect. She thought that Haseul would squeal about it- she thought Haseul would tease her about it. But instead, the older girl remained silent. Was she not happy with the idea? Hyunjin was someone fairly quiet- very athletic and pretty good with her academics. She was a legitimately good person, but why did it feel like Heejin shouldn’t have told her?

 

A soft hum broke the silence and from the corner of her eyes, Heejin could see Haseul fold her arms as well, her face leaning onto her own arms as she looked at her curiously. “So are you going on that date then?”

 

“I don’t know… I mean she’s nice. But I don’t think it’ll work out?”

 

“What makes you think so?”

 

“I- I don’t know… Why would she suddenly want to ask me out on a date? I mean- why would anyone?”

 

“Is anyone there?” Heejin flinched as she felt a light tap on her head, quickly laughing and playfully shoving the older girl before her friend spoke up again. “Are you hearing yourself? Of course, people would want to date you. You’re Jeon Heejin.”

 

“And what’s that supposed to mean?”

 

“I mean you’re great. You’re a fun person to hang out with, you are a great conversation holder, you’re really approachable and easy to get along with. You are unbelievably well balanced- I mean you’re one of the best dancers in the school, and you’re one of the top students in your class. That’s just wow.” Heejin moved to look at her best friend, a smile growing on her face, as she heard the words. And if she wasn’t too touched at the moment, she would have noticed how there was a split second moment where Haseul’s mouth hung open before finishing what she had to say.

 

 “You have a cute smile too. It’s hard not to want to ask you out on a date to be honest.”

 

As soon as she heard those words- Heejin felt her face heat up. Hearing that from the girl beside her made her suddenly feel warm despite the chilly night. And all she could suddenly see was the girl beside her.

 

“Do you mean that?”

 

She turned to look at Haseul in the eyes and just like the week before; when they were holding hands- she got lost in her eyes once again. They both remained silent as they simply looked at each other, and before Haseul could even answer, Heejin decided to ask her another question, one she had no idea where it came from.

 

“Would you date me?”

 

Heejin herself had no idea what got her to ask that- but they still stayed there looking at each other. And if it wasn’t for the silence that surrounded them that night, Heejin would have missed her soft, almost a whisper- reply.

 

“In a heartbeat.”

 

Both of them remained stationary, everything else around them quiet as they both weren’t speaking up either. Heejin swore her heart skipped a beat as she saw how intently Haseul was looking at her. Was that something she said just to make her feel better? Or did she mean it? Her heart kept rapidly beating as she kept on looking at her and Heejin eventually needed to look away- not really sure what would happen if she kept getting lost in her eyes.

 

She broke the silence, moving to slightly shove Haseul before looking back up into the sky. “You really can’t stop yourself from being greasy huh?”

 

She heard Haseul let out a chuckle as well before the other girl looked up at the stars above them as well. Just like the week before, they were both looking up at the dots above then, they were both basking in the light the moon was shining on them. And just like the week before, Heejin was thinking about something else.

 

She was thinking about the girl beside her...

 

Would Haseul really date her?

 

* * *

 

 

Heejin was walking back home after her date with Hyunjin, refusing the younger girls’ offer to walk her home as she insisted it was fine. They had lunch and watched a movie, grabbed some coffee after as well, as they got to know each other more. Sure Hyunjin was a nice person- but for some reason, it felt a bit off for Heejin.

 

Not even realizing that she was spacing out- Heejin looked up and realized that she actually walked past her house and was now in front of the trellis wall of the Jo Household. A part of her wanted to climb up and see the older girl but as she looked up and saw that the lights in Haseul’s room were turned off. Not wanting to be a bother to her, Heejin turned around- heading to her own house.

 

Upon reaching her own room, she immediately plops herself onto the bed, staring at the ceiling as her phone was in hand. She knows that she should send a message to Hyunjin- telling her that she got home safely and that today was fun. But instead, Heejin found herself looking at the screen of her phone, rereading the text she just sent to someone else.

 

_“Hey Seullie, sorry for not being there to bug you tonight.”_

Heejin didn’t know if the other girl was still awake- but she hoped that she was. She knew Haseul liked keeping her room dark once it was nighttime. After all, that’s how the spent some days hanging out. Sometimes when she slept over they’d both just be covered up in blankets, binge-watching their favorite shows on Haseul’s Netflix.

 

A part of Heejin wanted to talk about her date with her neighbor, to be honest, she just wanted to talk to the older girl. Though unconsciously, Heejin began to wonder. How would Haseul take someone out on a date? She could picture Haseul simply asking someone for a walk or looking through stores but eventually leading to a bookstore. She knew Haseul always preferred those kinds of dates anyway.

 

Heejin smiled at the thought of older girl excitedly inviting her to a new bookstore, and eventually, Haseul would pick out a book. She would end up reading it aloud, but only loud enough for Heejin to hear. And Heejin would simply stay there and listen from the side, smiling as she could see how the older girl’s eyes lit up from reading the pages. She’d just sit there and listen to Haseul’s voice, enjoying how soothing it sounded before focusing on how even her side profile was mesmerizing. Heejin would eventually not bother to continue paying attention to the story and instead focus on every little detail about the girl beside her. How her eyes would show the emotion she felt while reading the book, how she would scrunch up her nose a bit from time to time as a habit. And all the way down to how soft her lips looked like-

 

 

Heejin’s eyes grew wide and she immediately sat up, as she realized that she not only imagined a date with Haseul- her neighbor, and her best friend; but she also suddenly thought about how it would be to actually kiss her. She looked out her window and looked at the one parallel to hers. Heejin knew that she was starting to feel confused about things with Haseul-  her heart would beat faster, she would blush more frequently, and she would get lost in her eyes.

 

_Those eyes._

 

She looked down at her phone and again started typing a message out- not really thinking twice about it. She then bit her lower lip as her finger hovered over the send button, not too sure if she should send the other message she already typed out.

 

 

 

_It felt weird not spending my Friday night with you._

 

* * *

 

Walking around campus, Heejin pulled her phone out of her pocket as she felt it vibrate. Without hesitation, she excitedly opens the message from Haseul, expecting the older girls’ reply as she asked about the article earlier today, congratulated the older girl for finally finishing the article and asked if she could read it before it gets released.

 

Heejin frowned as read the reply, the older girl telling her that she would just have to wait for the article to be released if she wanted to read it. With a pout, she quickly sent the girl a reply back- asking if she had free time and wanted to hang out before heading home.

 

Just as she sent the message, Heejin heads to the nearby café, already thinking about getting herself a cup of coffee and even getting Haseul her go-to drink as well; a congratulatory drink before walking around without no set plan, like always, as they would both just wander around together.

 

Nearing the café, Heejin stops in her tracks as she sees her best friend walking towards the café as well- but she wasn’t alone. She looked as Jinsoul held the door open for Haseul, the latter chuckling before playfully pushing the girl before they both went inside.

 

Heejin remained there, looking at the two inside with an unreadable expression on her face. She knew that Jinsoul was someone Haseul worked with, she knew they had common friends. But she didn’t know that they were _that_ close.

 

Still looking at the two, a sad smile formed on her lips as she looked at her friend. Of course, Heejin finally realized that she had feelings for Haseul- but that didn’t necessarily mean that the older girl felt the same.

 

A sudden notification managed to take Heejin’s attention. She switched her attention to her phone and saw that it was a message from Hyunjin. The younger girl asking if she was free today and wanted to hang out. She sends the girl a reply, agreeing to hang out before looking back at the scene in front of her with a sad smile. Heejin looked back at her messages with Haseul, seeing that the older girl hadn’t read her message yet, and seeing the saved message she wanted to send the week before.

 

It may have been Friday- but Heejin guessed just like the week before, they wouldn’t end up spending it together.

 

 

They were just best friends after all.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twitter: @haheehye


	3. Bumper Cars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i kinda rushed this i guess? i also really didn't bother re-reading this chapter too for some reason. 
> 
> anyway-

* * *

 

Peeking her head through the auditorium doors, Jinsoul could hear the squeaks of the players’ shoes as they run their laps. Before stepping inside, she made sure her grip on the girl behind her was tight as she dragged her taller friend- ignoring the protest her friend was giving.

 

Jinsoul quickly turned around and glared at her friend, ignoring the fact that her glare had no effect on the taller girl before dragging her towards the side of the court. “Soo, if I knew you were going to be this stubborn I should have just asked your girlfriend to partner Jiwoo with me for this.”

 

As they finally sat at the sidelines she saw Sooyoung role her eyes before nudging her shoulders with the blonde before taking her camera out. “Please, you know Ara assigned me with you instead of Jiwoo, because that girl would basically just keep taking pictures of Jungeun instead of the whole team. And that will get us nowhere now won’t it?” 

 

They both chuckled before both decided to start working on their task. Sooyoung began taking shots while Jinsoul proceeded to start off the draft for her article.

 

She was given the task to write an article about their basketball team, it didn’t have to be anything special- their facilitating teacher just told them that they should treat their paper as a regular one, ergo having a sports corner as well.

 

And Jinsoul was more than glad that their teacher didn’t mind it simply being an article to introduce the team to the school. She wasn’t too sure if she’d be able to write up an article during an actual game, everyone would be screaming, she’d have to listen to the commentary- it would just be way too hard for her to concentrate if it were an actual game.

 

So instead here she and Sooyoung were, sitting in one of the practices of the team. Jinsoul could hear the shutter sound of her friends’ camera, a smile creeping onto her face as she saw how focused her friend was. Sure Sooyoung seemed like she didn’t want to be here, but Jinsoul knew her best friend. She knew that even if she didn’t want to be here if Ara needed it, Sooyoung wouldn’t hesitate in helping out. She knew her best friend would never admit just how whipped she was for that foreign girl.

 

After a while, the shutters ceased and Jinsoul turned to see Sooyoung placing the lens cap on before placing the camera in the bag. “I’m going to grab something to drink. Want anything?”

 

“I’m good. I’ll finish up this draft then we can head out. I’m sure you’re dying to see your girl.” Jinsoul grinned as she caught a slight blush on her friends’ cheeks before she turned her attention back to her laptop.

 

Them being in the auditorium was helpful for Jinsoul. She got to see the players and pretty much get an idea who to write about the team. She was pretty proud of herself as she realized how well it was going, proud enough that she was too focused on her laptop that she didn’t notice someone screaming her name out.

 

Next thing Jinsoul knew was she was lying on the floor with her head slightly throbbing. She heard more squeaks from the players’ shoes and soon an unfamiliar voice took her attention. “I’m sorry! I didn’t realize my throw went this far!” She could hear the panic in the girl’s voice. But despite the panic, it was still soft- kind of cute in Jinsoul’s opinion. 

 

As the throbbing started to slowly die down, Jinsoul finally managed to open her eyes, only to look into another pair that managed to get her to let out a soft gasp. She could see the worry and guilt in the eyes she was looking into and after her little gasp, the girl spoke up again. “I’m really sorry- I didn’t think it would hit you like that… Are you okay?”

 

“I like fish.”

 

“I- good to know… but are you alright?” There was obvious confusion on the other girl’s face, but soon it switched to worry and even more panic as she watched Jinsoul slowly sit up. “Oh my god. Did I give you a concussion? I’m so sorry I-”

 

“Don’t worry freshman, she’s just weird.” Jinsoul turned around and saw Sooyoung back with two cans of Cider. Before she could complain about her friend’s comment, she felt a cool sensation on her forehead as Sooyoung grabbed her hand and handed her one of the cans. Jinsoul just sat there, embarrassed as the situation finally registered in her head.

 

The underclassman excused herself to return back to the team while Sooyoung sat down beside Jinsoul with a teasing smirk.

 

“Are you sure it’s just fish you like?”

 

“Shut up!”

 

Being embarrassed was an understatement for Jinsoul as of the moment. She knew that she was being teased, she knew Sooyoung would tell Ara and Jiwoo, adding more into the teasing. Jinsoul knew her head still hurt a bit and the can wasn’t actually doing any help. But Jinsoul continued to sit there, watching the team practice again.

 

Wondering if she’ll talk to that cute freshman again.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The day after that incident, Jinsoul focused on finishing her assignment. She constantly kept trying to convince Sooyoung to join her as she wanted to watch the team practice again, but the slightly older girl would simply tease her. She would say that Jinsoul’s reason wasn’t to get inspiration for the article- rather she wanted to see the freshman again.

 

Although Sooyoung wasn’t completely wrong- Jinsoul did want to actually get inspiration on how to make the article work out. So she did, in fact, go to the practices again, this time dragging Jiwoo along with her as she just needed someone to be with her. She ignored the fact that Jiwoo was in fact just gushing over Jungeun the whole time.

 

Jinsoul simply tuned her friend out, her fingers tapping along her laptop as she tried to clean up her original draft from a few days ago. From time to time, Jinsoul would eventually look up and watch the team. Watching as they ran across the court, not quite enjoying the squeaking sounds as their shoes rubbed against the floor.

 

One time as she took a quick break, tearing her eyes away from the screen of her laptop; her eyes managed to meet the eyes of the same freshman who hit her on the head a few days ago. Not really sure as to why she felt so shy after their eyes met, Jinsoul quickly looked back at her laptop. Unknown to her, if she kept looking even just for a few seconds more, she would have seen the younger student flash her a smile before getting back into the game.

 

A few days after she went to watch the team again, Jinsoul finally managed to finish her whole article. She happily handed the article to Ara, who in return simply smiled and thanked her, talking about how now she needed to pester Sooyoung to send her those pictures so they could release the article as soon as possible.

 

With earphones plugged in, Jinsoul walked towards the park near the campus. She looked around her and took note of the sight around her, seeing several students mind their own business. Eventually, Jinsoul started humming along to her music as she scrolled through her phone checking for the next song she would plan to listen to.

 

She wasn’t really paying attention to her surroundings being too immersed in the song that was currently playing. Unfortunately, being too focused- Jinsoul failed to realize that there was someone, also not paying attention to their surroundings, walking right in front of her. 

 

Books and papers ended up scattered around as the two bodies collided, and Jinsoul was quick to her feet, moving to gather the scattered items as she frantically apologized to the stranger she bumped into.

 

“I am so sorry! I think my music was too loud- I didn’t take notice of the things around me and I just-”

 

“I like cats.”

 

Before Jinsoul could even question the reply, she looked up and found herself looking at the same girl that hit her on the head a few days back. The same girl who she was so shy to meet again- was it because Jinsoul was embarrassed about how they met? She **_did_** get hit by a basketball and told the stranger that she liked fishes.

 

The girl looked different- now wearing casual clothes instead of the normal jersey she saw the girl in. Jinsoul found it cute. She looked so different in and out of the court and if she first met her outside; Jinsoul would have never guessed that this girl was a basketball player. Just as she was about to speak up, the younger managed to beat her to it- a bit flustered over what she said.

 

“I-I just thought since you told me you liked fish… I could tell you what animal I liked…”

 

Jinsoul felt warmth in her chest as she saw how flustered the younger girl was and simply let out a chuckle before handing the girl her belongings. “I guess that’s fair.”

 

There was a moment of silence as the two simply stood there, both girls not really sure as to what to do next. At some point, feeling a bit shy- Jinsoul turned to look around her, her eyes eventually glancing down at her hands and noticing the books in her hands.

 

The younger girl gladly accepted her things before flashing another smile at Jinsoul, who in return extended her hand; properly introducing herself to the freshman. “I hope you disregard what my friend told you before- I promise I’m not weird. I’m Jinsoul by the way.”

 

The girl happily shook Jinsoul’s hand, offering her a small smile as well before introducing herself. And Jinsoul swore her stomach did a tiny flip as their hands touched.

 

“I’m Hyunjin. It’s nice to meet you.” 

 

 

* * *

 

 

After finally introducing herself properly, Jinsoul was more than happy to hang out with the underclassman. Sure she found Hyunjin really, _really_ pretty; but it also helped that the younger girl was pretty fun to hang out with.

 

It took a while before the younger girl got more comfortable with her, but the more they hung out, the easier it was for the younger girl to be more herself. She found it adorable how Hyunjin was shy at first, only to find out that the younger girl was just as playful as she was.

 

Ever since they got to know each other, Jinsoul couldn’t help but take note of how the other girl would be quiet yet playful all the time. Hyunjin was the kind of girl who would enjoy teasing those around her, not really caring about the age differences. At the same time, she would also like quietly showing how much she cared for people.

 

What surprised Jinsoul the most was that the basketball player enjoyed sketching, a lot. Whenever they would just hang out without any plans in mind, Jinsoul would always spot a sketchbook under the other girls’ arm. 

 

Today, was no different.

 

Jinsoul actually ended up bumping into the younger girl as she was walking around the park. She saw Hyunjin sitting under a tree, sketching as she looks around her from time to time. Skipping towards her, Jinsoul couldn’t help but grin as Hyunjin noticed her approach, giving her a wave as she neared.

 

“Didn’t expect to see you here.” Once near enough, Jinsoul noticed just how comfortable Hyunjin actually looked, finding it adorable how the tall girl managed to look so small, as Jinsoul stood above her.

 

“Practice was canceled, so I thought why not just relax instead?” Just as Jinsoul was about to ask, she noticed Hyunjin pat the spot beside her, urging the older girl to sit beside her.

 

With a light blush, Jinsoul sat down, blushing a bit as she realized how close they were as she could smell the perfume that the younger wore. Pushing those thoughts aside, she heard light scratching noises and realized that Hyunjin returned to her sketching.

 

Curious, Jinsoul tries to sneak a quick peek at the pad, only to be rewarded with Hyunjin quickly covering it up. Groaning softly, she pokes at Hyunjin’s side, bugging the younger to show her the sketch. “I just want to see what it is. A quick look won’t hurt will it?”

 

Hyunjin simply turned to her and flashed Jinsoul a playful grin before closing her sketchbook. “It would. Which is why I’m not showing you.”

 

With a soft huff, the blonde looks at her younger friend with a pout on her face. Mumbling softly about how unfair Hyunjin was being. She continued to do this until she heard the younger girl let out a soft chuckle before looking at her.

 

“Has anyone ever told you that your eyebrows make you look very expressive?”

 

Replying with an even louder groan, Jinsoul simply turned around and pulled her phone out, choosing a random song and letting it play out loud as she was ignoring the teasing coming from her younger friend.

 

Jinsoul could hear the girl beside her chuckle softly before beginning to start her sketching again. This time the blonde decided to leave the girl be, simply leaning comfortably against the younger girls’ back as she looked at the pond in front of them.

 

The blonde couldn’t help but smile as she could hear Hyunjin faintly singing along to the song. And as she was focusing on the younger girls’ voice, Jinsoul couldn’t resist shutting her eyes for a bit, relaxing as she enjoyed the warmth that radiated from the younger girl. What she didn’t expect was for her to open her eyes and see, not the same small body of water, but instead the sky with soft hues of orange, red, and purple as the sun was slowly setting.

 

Slightly confused at the change of scenery, it finally registered just how her position has changed from how she remembered it a while ago. Before Jinsoul shut her eyes, there was still sunlight and she also remembered that she was leaning onto Hyunjin’s back. But now, not only has the sunset, but she wasn’t leaning onto the younger girls’ back- her head was now on her lap.

 

As that thought processed and now fully awake, Jinsoul quickly sat up, surprising the other girl as well. She looked at Hyunjin with wide eyes and a faint blush on her cheeks as the thought of her sleeping on Hyunjin’s lap returned to her head.

 

Before she could actually question it, Hyunjin cleared her throat and turned away. “I-I noticed you fell asleep and it looked like an uncomfortable position… So I just thought it would be better to move you instead…”

 

Jinsoul noticed the quick stutter but pushed it away as she was more than glad that the younger girl was looking away because she was more than sure that her face was not just tinted with a light blush as she felt her cheeks heating up. “Why didn’t you just wake me up then? The sun’s already setting too…”

 

“You just looked so peaceful… I didn’t want to bother you… And maybe…” She saw Hyunjin bite her lip before continuing to speak, still avoiding to look at Jinsoul in the eye. “You kinda looked cute while you sleep.”

 

They were both silent for a quick moment after those words were said, despite the silence- it wasn’t awkward. Instead, both girls had shy smiles that the other couldn’t see as Jinsoul simply thanked the younger girl.

 

“Thanks… Well, it’s getting late and we should probably leave- but I was wondering if you wanted to grab dinner with me before heading home?” Just as the words came out of Jinsoul’s mouth- she realized that she used words that she normally didn’t use with the younger girl.

 

She realized that this time it actually sounded like she was asking the younger girl out for a date. Jinsoul was now internally panicking, and just as she was about to try and deny the situation Hyunjin finally looked at her in the eyes and the blonde quickly noticed the blush on the younger girls’ cheeks, as she gave her a shy nod as a response.

 

Which was how she and Hyunjin ended up having their first date.

 

 

* * *

 

 

After their shy first date, more shy dates followed after- until eventually they both just admitted how they felt towards each other. They would have meals together like before, they would hang out and go shopping during the weekends just like they used to.

 

The difference was this time, as they would eat, they would be sitting close to each other, or they held hands while going around the mall. And at the end of all of that, Jinsoul would always walk Hyunjin; both hesitant as they quietly hug each other goodbye for the day.

 

For today, they were back at the park; Jinsoul comfortably resting her head on the younger girls’ shoulder as Hyunjin was sketching yet again. The blonde didn’t bother asking her what she was sketching this time, simply deciding that it was best not to pester the girl anymore.

 

“You’re awfully quiet- what’s on your mind?” Normally, Jinsoul would lightly shove the younger girl back as a response, knowing that Hyunjin was going to tease her like so if she weren’t noisy. But this time, the younger girl wasn’t wrong.

 

Before they met up at the park, Jinsoul got a text from Sooyoung; telling her that Ara talked about giving the editor position to the blonde. At first, Jinsoul was excited. It would look good on her record, and she did actually want the position. But as she sat with Hyunjin, she realized the sudden pressure of the role, but also she would be very busy with not only dealing with the task but she would also have to juggle her academics, as she was entering her senior year.

 

With a heavy sigh, she explained those worries to the girl she was leaning onto, sighing out as she finished the explanation. As she was explaining the situation, Jinsoul noticed how the sounds of Hyunjin’s pencil scratching against the sketchbook softened, until eventually after explaining everything, it ceased completely.

 

Just as Jinsoul was about to tell the other girl to forget about what she said, she felt a sudden sting on her forehead. She looked back at Hyunjin, confused as the younger girl suddenly flicked her forehead. “Wh-”

 

“Never think you’re not good enough. You are amazing okay, don’t ever think otherwise. And you’ll do amazing not only as a senior but as the new editor.”

 

Rubbing her forehead, she looked at Hyunjin with a raised brow. “And how are you so sure about that Miss Kim Hyunjin?”

 

She saw the younger shrug before moving to start sketching again, and just as the tip of her pencil was about to touch the paper, she spoke up once more. “Because I know my girlfriend can do anything.”

 

Jinsoul watched as the girl beside her continued to draw again. She felt her cheeks heat up like that last sentence replayed in her head. Sure, she and Hyunjin have been going out on a lot of dates, and their friends did assume that they were already dating. But there was never any actual clarification between the both of them.

 

With a shy smile, Jinsoul moved closer; her arms sneaking their way around Hyunjin’s waist as she comfortably places her chin on the basketball player’s shoulder. Jinsoul noticed how the younger girl flinched a bit before clearing her throat, purposely not looking at the older girl. The blonde didn’t mind and couldn’t help but smile.

 

She was hugging her girlfriend.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Ever since then, there were times when Jinsoul would end up watching the basketball team practices, most of the time the blonde actually not paying attention- except when they would take breaks and her girlfriend would sit beside her, both ignoring the teasing from the rest of the team.

 

Other times, Hyunjin would end up visiting Jinsoul at school paper’s room, greeting the others as well. She would stay there and wait for the blonde patiently, sometimes Hyunjin would work on her homework, sometimes she would talk to Ara, fascinated with how the foreign student was really fluent in so many different languages. But most of the time, Hyunjin would simply sit there sketching, and Jinsoul swore she would catch the girl steal glances at her whenever she wasn’t looking.

 

Both girls were always busy, but they both tried their best to really make time for each other. And it worked out for the most part.

 

But eventually, as the last quarter of the year came; both were suddenly swamped with several responsibilities they didn’t expect to have to deal with. At some point, Ara relinquished her tasks and did, in fact, appoint Jinsoul as the new editor. While Hyunjin suddenly became the (look for the term to one of the better players in the basketball team) and had to deal with more intense training.

 

Neither of them were able to visit each other as much considering the fact that their schedules would always end up overlapping. They both tried to set-up dates, but with their academics piling up as well, they both had a hard time trying to meet up. At some point, both tried to meet up, promising that they’d study together and all, but they would always get distracted.

 

Despite being distracted during their study sessions, they managed to spend time together- and that was what mattered to them.

 

But when the tests came and both ended up not doing so well, they realized they had to try harder. Jinsoul was entering her senior year and needed to make sure that her grades would be good enough for companies to approve of. While Hyunjin was just starting out her college life, and she managed to get a great stepping stone for her future years as well.

 

Barely managing their schedules, the two struggled to actually meet up. And when they were able to go on their dates, it felt different- it felt a bit dry. They were in each other’s company- but there would always be one who would be too distracted. It went on for a while, until eventually during one of their dates after school, Hyunjin spoke up about the concern.

 

They ended up back at the same spot where they first admitted their feelings for each other. Leaning against the trunk of the tree and against each other. Jinsoul could tell that the younger girl was tired, but what took her attention was how said girl kept on playing with her fingers.

 

Jinsoul was used to it by now, and she liked it when Hyunjin played with her fingers. But something felt off this time- and it worried the blonde. Her worrying proved to be valid as she heard the younger girl suddenly speak up.

 

“What happened to us?”

 

Biting the inside of her cheek, Jinsoul kept her eyes glued onto their hands, pretty unsure of how to answer the younger girl. She knew that their relationship was completely different from how they were during the start. But at the same time, she didn’t want to pressure the younger girl.

 

Hyunjin was just starting out her college life, and the fact that she’s already managed to establish herself a good position in the team, the younger girl needed to maintain it. So Jinsoul didn’t want to bother.

 

But she didn’t expect that they’d be sitting here, in a tense atmosphere as they both talked about how hard things have been lately. They spoke up about how they’ve barely been able to actually spend time with each other. How they don’t talk about anything and everything like they used to.

 

How it felt like they were about to break up.

 

Releasing a breath, she didn’t know she was holding, Jinsoul looked up at the girl beside her. She could see that Hyunjin was debating with herself- probably over what she would say next as they sat beside each other. Their tense silence was broken when the younger decided to ask a question that Jinsoul never wanted to hear.

 

“Do you think we should break up?”

 

Time seemed to stop for Jinsoul as she heard those words. She felt her heart ache as Hyunjin suggested that they split up- but as much as she didn’t want to, would it be the better solution for them both?

 

She would have to focus more on the school paper since she would be taking charge- but for Hyunjin it would be harder. The younger girl would have to try juggling her practices along with her academics. She knew Hyunjin would say that she would be fine, but Jinsoul also knew that the younger girl would simply hide her stress from her. And that’s something that she didn’t want. She wanted Hyunjin to enjoy her college years- and trying to force their relationship to work might not be the best way to enjoy being in college.

 

Trying her best to keep her composure, Jinsoul turned away and replied in a shaky voice. “M-maybe that would be better.”

 

As soon as those words left her lips, a wave of regret washed over Jinsoul. She heard Hyunjin gasp softly beside her, asking the older girl if she meant it. Biting on her lower lip, Jinsoul kept her gaze away from the girl beside her, struggling to say the words she never wanted to say.

 

“I think we should break up.”

 

The blonde could hear ruffling beside her, she knew that Hyunjin was gathering her things and preparing to leave. Jinsoul wanted to turn to look at her, she wanted to stand up and stop Hyunjin. She wanted to apologize to her about even saying that they should break up-

 

But instead, she sat there, as she listened to Hyunjin saying goodbye and walking away.

 

Instead, Jinsoul sat there as she hugs her knees, watching Hyunjin’s figure walk further away from her as tears were falling down her own cheeks as she realized what just happened.

 

That their relationship just ended.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Throwing her bag beside her bed, Jinsoul plopped herself onto the bed, placing her arm over her eyes as she let out a long sigh. As she was on her way back to her dorm room, she ended up overhearing a few students- they were talking about how they apparently heard rumors of Hyunjin asking Jeon Heejin out for a date.

 

She should be happy for her ex-girlfriend. She was after all the one who agreed to break up, but a part of her still wished she didn’t. Jinsoul still wished that she actually stopped herself as she told the younger girl that they should end their relationship. So she should be happy about how the younger girl was happy.

 

Pulling herself to stand up, Jinsoul moved to her desk- turning her laptop on. She was about to start on her homework- when papers that were tucked in between her books stuck out. Emotions flowed through her again as she pulled them out, smiling sadly as she looked at the sketches that Hyunjin gave her.

 

The first was a sketch of herself taking a nap- the younger girl saying that she had time to actually do the sketch whenever they would hang out in the park. Apparently, Jinsoul would always end up falling asleep, and Hyunjin would always have the time to look at her features more. And using that time, she would end up finishing the sketch.

 

The second sketch was of her on her desk in the office for the school paper. Hyunjin telling her that she found it adorable whenever she had a look of concentration on her face, noting how she would unintentionally stick her tongue out a bit as she would read through the paperwork.

 

Jinsoul smiled as she looked at both drawings, smiling sadly as she remembered how Hyunjin would always take note of the little things. She smiled as she remembered the time she spent with the younger girl. How they enjoyed the time they spent time together- even though they never really had concrete plans for their dates.

 

She traced her fingers on the corner of each sketch, smiling sadly as she saw the small drawings of a cat and a fish. Jinsoul couldn’t help but chuckled bitterly as she carefully placed the sketches back to where they were. Her fingers hovered over the keys of her laptop as she thought to herself- chuckling once more as her regret came back.

 

Regret that she and Hyunjin broke up, that she didn’t fight or defend their relationship. Regret that she should have been a better girlfriend for Hyunjin. Would things have changed if she actually stopped Hyunjin from walking away? Would they still be together? Would things be not as bad as how it was if they just properly talked about it?

 

But with a sigh, Jinsoul began to start on her paper, pushing away the regret as she tried to focus on her work.

 

 

If Hyunjin was happy, then that’s all that mattered for Jinsoul.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @haheehye for twitter and cc :]

**Author's Note:**

> twitter: @haheehye


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